stuff i wrote yesterday

The words float from the fingers in an elegant dance with themselves and the ideas put forth by brain who also takes hints from the heart.  With a resource to remind you of your heart that screams at you like speakers to your alarm in the morning to wake you up.  A bulls eye is on my back with a deep purple in the center.  Oh how I do love life when I am in this zone.  And with work and with mentors I can learn to continue the channeling of my movements by simply letting myself do the work and get out the way just a golf club who will smack that ball 300 yards if you let it.  My how I do enjoy my own company when I don’t let what I think I should be like get in the room.  It’s just fine by me he wait out back with the pimps and hustlers.  He’s the con man in the room who wins you over with smiles where his heart is elsewhere and he will take pleasure in bringing you down and shattering you sense of integrity as a young man.  I am still waiting for the benefits of the lesson you suppose you teach and bitter with jadedness about those men who know what they do.  Cigarettes and joints get most people through the day.

Right now I am looking at the sunshine on the insides of my eyelids as I type this poem to my one and only love and dearest companion, you know who you are.  You smile and laugh and the whole world vanishes in the face of your optimism and resilience to the dark areas in life that creep up on you and hide the midline light that is in itself truth.  You smell of the perfume in the thin mountain air where in place of the common elements you get a glimpse at how your own perfume blossoms in the air with sweet rumors of lilacs and gardenia.  May you take your wings and fly, way you open your breast up to the mind and take on its current beneath you.  May your coast downward be easy and graceful and ready for the updraft that lifts you moments before it’s too late.  For your breath is like this as it save you every moment from that deep dissension. For your last breath is always out, but what some may call a miracle your breath in against all odds as we continue to search our universe for life to no avail.  No alien in the 6th dimension could be as beautiful as you and your mighty climb into the wind with your tail feathers tuning the wind to the pitch that keeps you in perfect line with your shadow self and true to your only constant direction.  Because this was never about me and it was always about you and I misplaced that love elsewhere on images and puppetry and illusions crafted by the dark passenger.  But he is not the one who will go on creating life and he’s not the one who will mend the wounds on our planet and he isn’t going to grow your food for you nor sew your protection from the wind.  I guess this is poetry it ain’t science and it ain’t current events.  I guess this is the call from the earth up through the hands on this keyboard that speak to you from it’s unity calling you plug in and sing its name to hillside so that the birds and the bees and the people and the trees will hear your beckon and return to their natives homes as you welcome life into your life and begin to speak from the heart instead of thinking about what mom or dad are gonna think about it.  For they will always worry and always love you, that is the blessing they give to you for sharing in your ups and your downs.  Now it’s your time, be respectable to those that come before you and be down right frank and honest with those to come keeping your priorities of human gentleness by taking your brothers and sisters with you if you they want to come.  For you can do it alone but you aren’t alone, you will have to do it alone first, but then you can do it with others.  Your love has always been ready to love, but you have to be willing to let it.

Your very kiss hits me like sunlight from millions of miles away so far yet warm on your lips on mine.  That’s how you blind sided me in being least expected so shrouded so close and familiar, from the deepest depths you are there at rebirth.  It is out of your own tenderness and care and compassion that you keep on welcoming re births for that is your time to shed light in the darkness as you burn your old body on a spire and place on the new one always waiting for you, there you stand like the perfect host holding my shall and wrapping me up in wool insulating the warmth generating from me and protecting my open pores from the wind.  There you are always as I struggle on yesterdays math quiz and tomorrows history exam giving me the true test that’s only here now and isn’t written on paper but has to be closely listened to in a quiet place like whispers from your savior as he gives you his living blessing as he blisses off into death like a smashed atom once whole little now whole lot.  That’s all for now my love, my beauty, my honey sugar pie.  I can be corny and goofy and lovely with you all right.  For you would never dare to judge me because it’s not in your nature.  Even if I think you do, you don’t and that’s why I will always love you.  Mi amore how I could go on, how I could outlast Gilgamesh the earthly prince for you.  How I could burn untold suns for you.  How I would wait lifes for you my love because you’ve already done me one better and what’s better than sharing in a mutual love for one another where a gift is a gift not a weapon and kiss is not a curse but a blessing.  Good night my love and good morning when you wake.

getting frank with jonathan

Would I be able to write with the same passion if I knew it was going to be published?  Would I be able to write with the same frankness as if I’m screaming into the abyss?  Writers block is such sorrow and that’s why we have ourselves to remind ourselves of ourselves.  Because we’re there for each other. Ourselves they are for ourselves they are.  The point is to not stop when what is on your mind is stupid and you think no one will want to read it, because that’s exactly what they do want to hear, is the frankness the rawness the gut on the page unfiltered by lifes concerns of career prosperity greed filthy wealth that enslaves you constant shopping.  At least for me.  Now why did I just qualify my previous statement?  Was I afraid you would judge me for talking negatively about wealth and greed?  Because if that’s so, that’s over.  I have a problem with greed.  I crave to be a rich and successful person.  So far all I’ve seen in the business world is a bunch of legitimized scams deceptions and ploys.  Those who provide honest value don’t make a lot of money with exceptions My pc-ness keeps trying to interject and make excuses for everyone.  Saying yeah this and that his product does provide value this and that crap and the other nuts in a sack.  I’m tired of not being frank with everyone let alone myself.  I’m tired of trying to balance on the line of truly embracing my passion and trying to be someone for somebody who I never knew no how.  I will no longer be that sheep.  This is not a cycle that is easy to break and not one that I do not imagine I will slip into again, for the obstacle course continues and death is store as well as rebirths.  All I can do is implement resources for myself ease the blows that it takes to snap yourself back into being your true self the one and only god love.  All you can do it be true to your self and your honest intention be at peace with myself as that is my greatest contribution to my friends and family, not being a doctor a lawyer or down on wall street.  The occupation grows and continues to inspire me and to take my voice to the streets.  Thank you to all those that inspire me seen and unseen, heard and not heard, smelt and not smelt. You are my mirror with which I shine my focus to blind my light ever sharper.  You are why I wish death not come early although do not fear it’s steady grip for I have lived every moment of my life to it’s fullest and the evidence is that I’m still here kicking after all these years, selfishly sucking in each and every juicy breath like a pig at trough.  And I don’t know why everyone’s so afraid of talking about death, like you may be labeled suicidal or sad something stupid like that.  Who they hell hasn’t thought about the easy way out.  And if you haven’t thought about it you’re probably the one who needs it the most!  Enough is enough already with the pc crap from the 90’s.  We got some issues to workout with ourselves and eachother and I’m here to admit sins of past and publicly ready to take responsibility for sins of the future.  For through my choice and actions and how I treat myself and the peace that does reside within I do have it in me to lighten the load by living truer to myself my one and only.  For the most beautiful lovesong starts but in yourown heart if you have the ears to listen.  I’ve depleted my writing valve, time to watch some tube and eat ben and jerrys peace love and take it easy on yourself in those times of pain for sweetness and refreshment is just around the corner sometimes to be found in a taqueria